Category Archives: Christmas

Dimitri Is A Street Hero In Quebec

St. Andrew by the Lake in the snow – Photo by Bart B. Van Bockstaele
A Quebec family had it up to here with the lack of snow removal on their street. Instead of just complaining Dimitra Provias installed a snow plow on the front of her SUV. Now she’s a hero in the neighbourhood.

The plow cost the family $4000 to insure that they will be able to get through their narrow Laval, Que. street. The community is north of Montreal.

The contractor’s equipment for the small city is to big for the narrow roads. So far this winter the city has plowed Provias’ street once.

With a winter record of snow this season of 383 centimeters if the residents waited for a thaw they would be blocked in for the duration.

Thank goodness neighbours can count on Dimitra to get them out and moving on down the road.

A Stinky Christmas Eve

Christmas was a smelling affair for Robert Schoff this year Christmas Eve. The 77 year old Iowa man spent part of Christmas Eve stuck upside down in his septic tank after trying to make a quick fix.

had tried to find a clog on Monday in the tank but ended up stuck when he lost his balance and fell. He was left wedged into the opening. It took an hour for wife Toni to come see what the Des Moines man was hollering about. When she went to look she was surprised by seeing his feet sticking out of the opening.

After a quick call to 911 two Polk County sheriff deputies freed Schoff from the stinky pit.

It wasn’t good, I’ll tell you what,” Schoff said Tuesday. “It was the worst Christmas Eve I’ve ever had.”

A Mailing From Heaven

Some guys just can’t let go. Chet Fitch passed away in October at the age of 88. Thirty four of Mr. Fitch’s friends received their Christmas cards from their joking friend last week.

Fitch was known for his sense of humour. His friends were able to remember their friend with his last Christmas card this week with the return address of “Heaven.”

“I asked Big Guy if I could sneak back and send some cards. At first he said no; but at my insistence he finally said, ‘Oh well, what the heaven, go ahead but don’t (tarry) there.’ Wish I could tell you about things here but words cannot explain.

“Better get back as Big Guy said he stretched a point to let me in the first time, so I had better not press my luck. I’ll probably be seeing you (some sooner than you think). Wishing you a very Merry Christmas. Chet Fitch”

For the past two decades Fitch and his barber Patty Dean worked on the joke. Mr. Fitch kept updating his mailing list and adding additional postage as the rates went up. This fall as she cut his hair he let her know that he thought this would be the year for her to send out the cards.

“You must be getting tired of waiting to mail those cards,” he told her. “I think you’ll probably be able to mail them this year.”

The next week he died. Heaven must be smiling a bit more with F

Boy Prevented From Attending School Christmas Party For Not Being Religious

When Douglas Stewart’s parents pulled him out of religious education classes earlier this year, they didn’t know their 9-year-old son would be banned from his class Christmas party.

The lad and his brother Callum, 11, go to school at Cluny Primary in Buckie, Banffshire.

The family has no religious affiliation or beliefs so they asked that their children not be forced into taking religion education classes. However, come Christmas time the boy’s mother, Dawn Riddell, was shocked when she heard that Douglas was to remain at home instead of attend his class Christmas party.

The headmaster of the school, Ian Davidson, showed his true colours when asked why Douglas was not allowed to attend the party, saying it was because Douglas had no interest in religion therefore was not allowed to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.

Ms. Riddell promptly called Moray Council to check on the religious status of said parties, since older son Callum had been allowed to attend his party days before. She was informed that school parties were considered non-religious.

The council got in touch with the school who claims that excluding young Douglas was a “misunderstanding.”

The Daily Mail reports:

“Furious mother Dawn Riddell, 38, said yesterday: “I’ve helped out at the Christmas party before and it’s got absolutely nothing to do with Jesus. Douglas was heartbroken he couldn’t go. It was cruel.”

Santa left behind a present for Douglas but the true meaning of merriment and generosity just wasn’t there. Sad to see adults can be the cruelest kids on the playground.

Santa Bot Naughty Not Nice, Microsoft Shuts Him Down

An automated Claus on a Microsoft Corp. site was being rather naughty when someone got on to get their wish lists off. The site was started last year for Windows Live Messenger.

The Santa program was reactivated earlier this month but an elf started in about Santa and his underage nieces having pizza and umm, more.

A replication of the chat…..

After declining the writer’s repeated invitations to eat pizza, a frustrated Santa burst out with, “You want me to eat what?!? It’s fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something else.”

The exchange ended with the writer and Santa calling each other “dirty bastard.”

Microsoft spokesman Adam Sohl said that even with the company’s engineer’s cleaning up Santa’s words the company didn’t want to risk him being online.

“It’s not like if you say, ‘Hello Santa,’ he’s going to throw inappropriate stuff at you,” said Sohn

Microsoft has several automated IM programs that are very useful including their customer service agents but they also have some that are frivolous like an alien who makes extraterrestrial like noises. Some of the bots are designed to fend off messages that could push their animated buttons.

If they’re meant to be cheeky and have fun with you, they may repeat certain things back,” he said, or respond to certain words with “that’s naughty.”

Microsoft was unaware that their Santa bot knew those “dirty” words. They don’t suspect that it was an office prank either.

Santa was disabled on Tuesday. So for now that jolly old elf is off the web. Who knew that Santa had a naughty streak in him.

Thousands of Elves At The Ready

It’s that time of the year again when young children scribble out their dreams to Santa. Thousands of elves are readied with pen and paper to respond to the tykes dreams and forward the requests on to the big guy in the North Pole.

Canada Post “elves” have been activated as children across Canada and the world begin their yearly ritual of Dear Santa letters. Post Canada is expecting a record year of young writers with visions of toys dancing in the heads.

Santa himself was greeted by excited first graders at a midtown post office in Toronto on Friday. Santa arrived at the postal office in a modified postal truck. He revealed that the letters that touch his heart the strongest are of children that make requests for others.

“It’s not so much ‘give me, give me,”‘ he said in an interview. “I have so many letters that wish other people good things.”

Since the Canada Post launched it’s Santa program 26 years ago more than 15 million letters have been answered by their special postal elves. That was enough to get the Canada Post’s “Letters to Santa” program a certificate from Guinness World Records.

In case you are wondering the postal code for the North Pole and Santa’s workshop is H0H 0H0. Letters sent will be read and responded to by the elves and Santa will be aware of what the tykes want under the tree this year.

The post office is requesting that the kids save the treats for Santa until he visits their homes. If your youngster is more prone to email instead of snail mail there is a website they can visit.

Last December, Canada Post delivered more than 900 million pieces of mail, with 50 million pieces entering the mail stream on December 19 alone.